Valley Breeze

The Valley Breeze Woonsocket North Smithfield 11-19-2020

The Valley Breeze Newspapers serving the Northern Rhode Island towns of Cumberland, Lincoln, Woonsocket, Smithfield, North Smithfield, Pawtucket, North Providence, Scituate, Foster, and Glocester

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VALLEY BREEZE LIVING EDITION | NOVEMBER 19-25, 2020 AT HOME / ENTERTAINMENT 29 Examples of said "memory outbreaks" include just about any dumb, antisocial, self-destructive thing human children are prone to doing whether adopted or not. A tantrum, for example, is not simply an expression of a child's natural self- centeredness, requiring a firm disciplinary response. It is an expression of the adopted child's ongoing grieving, requiring that his parents cuddle and rock him to help him fill in the emotional gaps in his earlier childhood. I did not make that up. It is precisely what adoption specialists told the above mother. Another specialist told a mother that her 5-month-old adoptee knew, from Mom's heart- beat, that Mom wasn't really Mom. That borders on criminal. Sadly, it is not a one-off. I have long concluded that adoption specialists primarily specialize in infecting adoptive parents with "adoption bogeymen." They claim, for example, that nearly every adopted child has "reactive attach- ment disorder," one of the most ill-defined of all ill- defined psychiatric diagno- ses. The diagnosis, as bogus as it may be from a scientif- ic perspective, allows adop- tion specialists to point to just about anything and say, "See! Reactive attachment disorder!" In that fashion, they infect adoptive parents with anxiety and self-doubt, and a self-fulfilling proph- ecy is invoked. It is a fact that the more anxious a parent, the more the child will begin acting in ways that affirm the par- ent's anxiety. Around and around this dynamic begins to spin, the result being a parent who is increasingly beset by worry and sinking ever-further into self-doubt, and a child who is increas- ingly the subject of much anxiety and confusion. When I said to the moth- er in question, "The adop- tive bogeymen that you have let into your head are paralyzing your ability to discipline effectively," she responded with, "That is precisely correct!" Adoption is a compassion. There is nothing inher- ently risky about it. The risk seems to be the conse- quence of getting involved with certain adoption spe- cialists. Family psychologist John Rosemond: johnrosemond.com, parentguru.com. PARENTING From Page 23 Small Business Saturday goes virtual Small Business Saturday ShopRI will be held virtually this year on Saturday, Nov. 28, from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m., at SbsShopRI.com . The event will feature games, giveaways and vendor interviews. For the safety and convenience of holiday shop- pers and vendors alike, the website will serve as 2020's all- under-one-roof, pop-up mall. The 100 vendors range from artists, Social Venture Enterprises, Farm Fresh RI, veterans, and minority-owned businesses and represent a diverse population as well as a wide range of unique gift ideas. A special event-day page will categorize the ven- dors for fast, easy shopping, in addition to the separate vendor page listing, which will remain in effect until the end of the year, to help support small businesses during the COVID-19 pandemic. answers

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