Valley Breeze

The Valley Breeze Woonsocket North Smithfield 04-09-2020

The Valley Breeze Newspapers serving the Northern Rhode Island towns of Cumberland, Lincoln, Woonsocket, Smithfield, North Smithfield, Pawtucket, North Providence, Scituate, Foster, and Glocester

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VALLEY BREEZE LIVING EDITION | APRIL 9-15, 2020 AT HOME 18 hear an excuse that makes any sense. Adult children who are basically capable should not be freeloading off their parents, depleting their retire- ment accounts. They need to get off family welfare, get out into the world, and get on with the business of figuring it out. The excuses are irrefutable proof of codependency, which since 1970 has become ram- pant in American "parenting." My parents and their peers in the Greatest Generation were not in codependent relation- ships with their kids because they weren't parenting. They were raising human beings into states of responsible adulthood, and what a won- derful thing that is for both parents and child. My lessons in personal responsibility began when I was 4 years old. I'd gone out to play in my church pants and come home with grass stains on the knees. My mother filled up the wash tub (she did not have a washing machine), added soap, and told me I was going to learn to wash my own clothes. It took me over an hour to get the grass stains out, at which point I had a greatly enhanced understanding of the meaning of "church pants." That's how to emancipate a child. Begin when the child is young to let him know that he's going to be able to make a better life for himself than you are willing to make for him. "What if he doesn't find a job and has to come back home?" What does "he has to" mean? One thing's for certain: As long as he knows you'll let him back in, he has no reason to find a job. Codependency is addic- tive to both parties. The addiction of codependency, furthermore, is every bit as debilitating as addiction to a substance. It's such a humon- gous problem today that there's even a support group network for it. It's called Co-Dependents Anonymous International. Their website is at CoDA.org. If you recognize yourself in this column, you might want to get in touch with them. Be forewarned! Getting out of a codependent relationship will be one of the hardest things you've ever done. But getting out will be a great gift to both yourself and the other person. Family psychologist John Rosemond: johnrosemond.com, parentguru.com . PARENTING From Page 16 SSHSA offers distance learning with a maritime flair WARWICK – The content available online may seem endless these days, but most parents know it's only a mat- ter of time until they hear those two dreadful words: I'm bored. Take them on a trip around the world and show them the technology that helped transform the nation with the STEAMing Into The Future website at www.shiphi- story.org . The Steamship Historical Society of America, located on Post Road in Warwick, has been ramping up its educational efforts with loads of alternative enrichment activities and lesson plans for educators, students, parents, and anyone interested in broadening their knowledge base. The lessons tell the sto- ries – past present and future – of maritime industries and discoveries, as well as related areas of STEAM. Learn about buoyancy by building Lego boats. Find out how one woman's stand against segregation aboard the SS Columbia helped pave the way for the landmark ruling in Brown vs. Board of Education. Spend some time learning about the challenges that many of our ancestors faced in trying to immigrate to the United States in the 19th century. It's all available at www.shiphistory.org . Lessons can be done in parts to occupy one hour of time or expanded across mul- tiple days, depending on how deep one delves into a topic. They also feature guided questions, links to additional lessons on the topic, exten- sion activities, and education standards.

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