Valley Breeze

The Valley Breeze & Observer 11-27-2019

The Valley Breeze Newspapers serving the Northern Rhode Island towns of Cumberland, Lincoln, Woonsocket, Smithfield, North Smithfield, Pawtucket, North Providence, Scituate, Foster, and Glocester

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2 ENTERTAINMENT / AT HOME NOVEMBER 26-DECEMBER 3, 2019 | VALLEY BREEZE & OBSERVER LIVING EDITION A child's belief that he can't do something is rarely fact- based; it's usually instilled by well-meaning people, as in, his parents." Before drilling deeper into this ubiquitous issue, a few facts are in order: • Fact: Children do not know what they need. They only know what they want. When a child says he "needs" something, it's all but certain that he does not need the something in question; he only wants it. That definitely applies to a child saying he needs help with schoolwork. • Fact: Children have a low tolerance for frustra- tion. "I can't!" is their default response to difficulty of any sort. • Fact: Children do not know what they are capable of. They must be forced to push the limitations they impose on their abilities. • Fact: Children are soap opera factories. They are prone to exaggerating the significance of anything they experience. Making moun- tains out of molehills is a child's nature. When my daughter Amy entered high school, she began taking algebra. Right off the bat, she had difficulty understanding the equations and asked me for help. For the first two weeks of her freshman year, I helped her sort out x, y, and n. Then I realized she was becom- ing dangerously dependent on me and so, before things went any further downhill, I told her I was done helping her. "I've gotten you off to a good start, Amos," I said. "The rest is up to you." "One more night, daddy? Please?" "Nope. I'm out of the alge- bra business as of five min- utes ago." She wanted to negotiate. I wouldn't. Before long, she was weeping and wailing and accusing me of wanting her to fail. Then she begged. I stood firm, so she wept and wailed some more. Then she wouldn't talk to me (a bless- ing of sorts). For three days this went on. Finally, she gave up. Her final salvo was, "Don't be surprised if I get an F in algebra!" She got an A in algebra. I honestly do not think she would have been able to ace algebra if I had continued to "help" her. • Fact: Every time a parent helps a child who has said he "can't" and "needs" the help, the child's tolerance for aca- demic frustration goes down a notch, all but guaranteeing that said child will (a) contin- ue to believe he "can't" and (b) ask for help more and more often. This is the curric- ulum for "How to Grow an Incompetent, Academically Anxious Child 101." Do some children need the help? (Also phrased as: Do some children need more help than others?) Yes, but the above facts pertain to all children. All children, therefore, need parents who will set limits on the nature of any help they give and the amount of time they will spend per day or week giv- ing it. Just remember: You need to call it quits. Your child will not. Family psychologist John Rosemond:, PARENTING From Page One BRT Homecoming Concert is Saturday CUMBERLAND – Blackstone River Theatre, 549 Broad St., will present its 20th annual Homecoming Concert and Silent Auction fundraiser on Saturday, Nov. 30, at 7:30 p.m. The concert will feature Atwater-Donnelly, Allysen Callery, Cathy Clasper-Torch and Shelley Katsh, Yacouba Diabate, Eastern Medicine Singers, Andrew McIntosh & Kyle Forsthoff, Partington & Sweeney, and Kim Trusty. At 6:30 p.m. and during intermission, Blackstone River Theatre will also hold a silent auction featuring CDs, jewelry, original art- work, Christmas items and gift certificates. All of the proceeds from both the con- cert and the silent auction will go to support Blackstone River Theatre's program- ming and operating expens- es. Says BRT Executive Director Russell Gusetti, "This is not only BRT's one big fundraiser for the year, but it also serves as an excel- lent sampler as audiences get to see eight different acts in one evening, all who will be performing concerts in the coming months." Having celebrated its 20th anniversary in September, Blackstone River Theatre has now presented more than 2,700 concerts, festi- vals, dances, arts classes and community events in front of more than 126,000 people. Blackstone River Theatre received the 2019 "Best of" Award from Rhode Island Monthly for "Best Folk Venue." Featured performers, who are all donating their time, include Atwater- Donnelly who will perform Appalachian, original and Celtic-inspired folk music and clogging. Kim Trusty will play a set of her jazz and blues-based original music and Blackstone River Theatre welcomes the return of Yacouba Diabate, a master kora player from Burkina Faso, West Africa, now living in Rhode Island. Allysen Callery is an American folksinger from Bristol. Andrew McIntosh and Kyle Forsthoff, both of Fellswater, will play a set of Scottish music on pipes and percussion and the Eastern Medicine Singers, led by Daryl "Black Eagle" Jamieson, will perform Algonquin and other Native American drum and vocal music. The duo Partington & Sweeney sees guitarist and five-string banjo player Ed Sweeney playing folk music along with vocalist Mary Lee Partington. Cathy Clasper- Torch, on fiddle and cello, will be joined by accordion player Shelley Katsh. Admission is $20. The silent auction begins at 6:30 p.m. and continues at inter- mission. For reservations, call 401-725-9272 or visit for more information. Kora master YACOUBA DIABATE will be one of eight perform- ers at the 20th annual Homecoming Concert at Blackstone River Theatre on Saturday, Nov. 30, at 7:30 p.m.

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