Valley Breeze

The Valley Breeze Cumberland Lincoln 11-14-2019

The Valley Breeze Newspapers serving the Northern Rhode Island towns of Cumberland, Lincoln, Woonsocket, Smithfield, North Smithfield, Pawtucket, North Providence, Scituate, Foster, and Glocester

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VALLEY BREEZE LIVING EDITION | NOVEMBER 14-20, 2019 AT HOME / ENTERTAINMENT 3 Learn how to solve behavioral problems early The myth of the first three years has it that whatever habits, traits, dysfunctions and so on that a child develops during this admittedly for- mative period are going to stay with him for life. That is not necessarily so. For example, Romanian orphans that had suffered severe emotional and physical neglect during infancy and toddlerhood recovered fully after being placed with American families. When put in play groups with American-born kids who were living with biological parents, they could not be identified reliably. The adoption-babblers have a difficult time explaining that, by the way. Nonetheless, the third birthday is a parenting "hump" of sorts. Pre-1960s parents understood that the so-called "terrible twos" were just that: to wit, an 18-month developmental period (roughly between 18 and 36 months) marked by tantrums, defiance, vio- lent outbursts and other antisocial behaviors. During this same period, it is essential that effective disciplin- ary precedents be set such that the terrible twos do not become the terrifying threes, frightful fours, fear- some fives, shocking sixes and so on (the nauseating 19s?). Behavior problems not resolved by the 3rd birthday (or thereabouts) are going to be increasingly challenging for both parents and child. The par- ents are now behind the curve con- cerning the discipline of the child, and the further behind the curve they fall, the more difficult it will be for them to establish their authority. For the child, the further and faster the proverbial snowball of his mis- behavior rolls downhill, the more havoc it plays with his emotional health. Good research confirms what common sense verifies: Disobedient kids are not happy campers. Parents who come to me for help saying, "My kid is driving me crazy" want me to fix the problem for their benefit, to prevent them further emotional toll. But the emotional toll of the problem is being visited primarily upon the child. He's being denied the right to a happy child- hood by parents who love him deep- ly but don't understand that – to employ a paraphrase – children do not thrive on love alone. Children need authority. They benefit greatly from having to accept that what their parents tell them. "Does that mean, John," a mother recently asked, "that I shouldn't give my teenager reasons for my decisions and instructions?" A child's age does not determine when it's time for parents to begin explaining themselves. The prereq- uisite to explanation is obedience. You cannot explain a child into obedience, but once obedience has taken root and is flourishing, you can venture the occasional explana- tion. I say occasional because obedi- ent children do not generally ask for explanations. They are content with- out them; besides, they're usually able to figure them out on their own. A parent's love should be big and unconditional, but if it isn't bal- anced with equally big, unambiguous authority, it's most accurately termed enabling codependence. Likewise, if authority is big but love is weak and small, authority isn't authority at all; it's abuse of one form or another. The "trick" of this is letting the monster-in-the-making know, early on, when the monster first makes its appearance, that he will not be allowed to let his dark side rule either himself or the people he lives with. The formula can be expressed this simply: The child never gets any- thing even close to what he wants when he misbehaves; rather, when he lets his monster off the leash, he loses things he doesn't want to lose for memorable stretches of time. A child's covetous nature can be used to everyone's advantage. Some children get it quickly. Others, not so much. Which is why a sense of humor always helps. Family psychologist John Rosemond: johnrosemond.com, parentguru.com. Traditional Parenting JOHN ROSEMOND Place your classified ad online at classifieds.valleybreeze.com BRT hosts Fuzek-Rossoni 30th anniversary concert CUMBERLAND – Blackstone River Theatre, 549 Broad St., will present an evening with Fuzek- Rossoni as they celebrate their 30th anniversary with a reunion concert on Saturday, Nov. 16, at 8 p.m. John Fuzek and Mary Ann Rossoni have not formally performed on stage together since a Stone Soup fundraiser brought them together for a brief set in 2012. Joining Fuzek- Rossoni during their set will be Ed McGuirl on guitar, mandolin, bass and percussion and Amy Bedard on backing vocals and violin. Opening the show will be Dan Lilley (guitar, vocals, harmonica) accompanied by Bedard on vocals and violin. From 6 to 7 p.m., there will be an opening reception for the artwork of Mary Ann Rossoni which will be on display at Blackstone River Theatre through mid-December. A very popular duo in their day, Fuzek-Rossoni was formed 30 years ago when Fuzek and Rossoni were simultaneously running ads in the "musicians wanted" classifieds of a local paper, looking for musical partners to perform with. The musi- cal chemistry was immediate and they began writing songs. In a few months, they released their first recording, "Living with the Fury and the Fire." They released a second recording, "Waking Up from the American Dream" and also contrib- uted to many compilations, touring extensively around the Northeast. Fuzek-Rossoni were the driv- ing force behind the beginnings of the Rhode Island Songwriters Association and "Hear In Rhode Island." After seven years together they decided to take a break. They remained great friends but musically began to move in different directions. After years of not performing pub- licly, they are back for this special anniversary reunion. Admission is $15. For reservations or information, call 401-725-9272. The duo FUZEK- ROSSONI will present an anni- versary concert at Blackstone River Theatre, 549 Broad St., Cumberland, Saturday, Nov. 16, at 8 p.m. Do you know someone celebrating a December Birthday? The Valley Breeze Birthday Club for DECEMBER will be printed on November 28, 2019. Forms should be received by The Valley Breeze by Friday, November 22, 2019. Send in the name of someone with his or her December birth date and $2 per edition and we'll include them in the club. The check should be made payable to The Valley Breeze for use in the Breeze charities fund. Mail to: The Valley Breeze, 6 Blackstone Valley Place, Suite #204, Lincoln, RI 02865. Thank you! Greetings should be 10 words or less. Name: .............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. Date of Birth: ............................................................................................................................................ Age: .............................................................................. From: ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ Contact Phone Number (for questions, not publication) ................................................................................................................................................. Edition (please check): Cumberland/Lincoln edition ($2) Pawtucket edition ($2) Observer edition ($2) North Smithfield/Blackstone/Woonsocket edition ($2) North Providence edition ($2) DECISION 2019! Will it be Manny or Virginia Brandao? They quibble like the 'ol Bickersons on their Sunday show on 'ON radio, so who is right? Vote by phone @ 401-766-3499 Vote by mail: Manny is right or Virginia is right, WOON, 985 Park Ave., Woonsocket , 02895 Voting deadline is November 30th. Winner will be announced on The Manny Brandao Show, Sunday Dec. 8th at 9 a.m. Who is right? You decide and have a chance to win a special prize. Vote for the Brandao of your choice…But VOTE!

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