Valley Breeze

The North Providence Breeze 05-15-2019

The Valley Breeze Newspapers serving the Northern Rhode Island towns of Cumberland, Lincoln, Woonsocket, Smithfield, North Smithfield, Pawtucket, North Providence, Scituate, Foster, and Glocester

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VALLEY BREEZE & OBSERVER LIVING EDITION | MAY 15-21, 2019 ENTERTAINMENT / AT HOME 3 How you speak is key to proper discipline Q: My 7-year-old son, an only child, is giving me fits. He's overly active and will not cooperate in any instruc- tion I give him. In addition, if I tell him not to do something, it's a guar- antee he's going to do it as soon as my back is turned. I'm a single mom and I'm embarrassed to admit that he runs the house. I spoke to his pedia- trician about him and she is recom- mending ADHD medication. I don't want to go in that direction; besides, he has no problems in school, and never has. His teachers love him and are constantly telling me how smart and mature he is for his age. It's like I'm dealing with a person with a split personality. If he's not crazy, I'm slowly getting there. Can you give me some tips? A: The completely unscientific nature of the ADHD diagnosis aside, your son is not a candidate for medi- cations that have never reliably out- performed placebos in clinical trials. It never fails to infuriate me when I hear of pediatricians whose knee- jerk response to discipline problems is a prescription. Having said that, I understand completely the pres- sure they are under to do something "helpful" during a 10- to 15-minute office visit. There ought to be a par- enting specialist in every pediatric office, someone who can take the time that the physician probably doesn't have. Your son doesn't have a split per- sonality either. He's simply figured out that some adults have claimed their natural authority over children and others, including you, have not. Proper adult authority has a pro- found calming and focusing effect on children, an effect that no medication can match. In your description of the problem, you used the word "cooperate." My consistent finding is that parents who use that word actually want their chil- dren to obey, but instead of giving clear, authoritative instructions are instead making requests and sugges- tions, as in, "Would you please come to the table so we can have dinner?" and "It would really help me out if you'd stop what you're doing and feed the dog, OK?" When it comes to the discipline of a child, consequences will be neces- sary at times, but the key is a proper presentation of oneself as an author- ity figure, and that is primarily a matter of how you speak. Using the above examples, the proper words are "It's time for you to come to the Traditional Parenting JOHN ROSEMOND BRT presents indie folk sensation Darlingside Sunday CUMBERLAND – Blackstone River Theatre, 549 Broad St., will present indie folk band Darlingside on Sunday, May 19, 6 p.m., at Blackstone River Theatre, 549 Broad St. Darlingside delivers a moving blend of subtlety, power, outstand- ing vocal quality and contemporary songwriting, according to event organizer. The Boston-based quartet features four distinct voices clustered around a single microphone, their tightly arranged tunes drawing from the unexpected, including strains of bluegrass, classical, and even bar- bershop. The band consists of Don Mitchell, Auyon Mukharji, Harris Paseltiner, and David Senft. Accompanied by classical strings, guitars, mandolin, and percussion, these four close friends swap instru- ments from song to song and offer a sound that defies standard genre classifications. While the band's critically acclaimed 2015 release "Birds Say" was steeped in nostalgia and the conviction of youth, their new album "Extralife" grapples with dystopian realities and uncertain futures. Darlingside's harmonies have drawn comparisons to late-1960s era groups like Crosby, Stills & Nash, Simon & Garfunkel, and The Byrds. According to a press release, the members construct every piece of their music collaboratively, pool- ing musical and lyrical ideas so that each song bears the imprint of four different writing voices. Darlingside's song "Hold Your Head Up High" was featured in the last few minutes of Season 3, Episode 18 of "This Is Us" on NBC, adding a poignant touch to this pop- ular show's season finale. Admission is $35 in advance and $40 on the day of the show. For reservations, call Blackstone River Theatre at 401-725-9272 or visit www.riverfolk.org . DARLINGSIDE will perform at Blackstone River Theatre, 549 Broad St., Cumberland, on Sunday, May 19, at 6 p.m. For tickets, call Blackstone River Theatre at 401-725- 9272 or visit www.riverfolk.org . Irish vocalist Karan Casey at BRT Saturday Blackstone River Theatre, 549 Broad St., will present Irish vocal- ist Karan Casey on Saturday, May 18, at 8 p.m. Casey's career has spanned 25 years from the early days as a jazz performer in Dublin to her heady days in New York with the band Solas to her now established solo career, and she has sold over half a million albums. She has recorded seven solo albums, has won Best Irish Female Vocalist twice, Best Irish Folk album and a Grammy for her collaboration with Paul Winter. Casey has also been nominated for the BBC Folk Awards and has performed with Peggy Seeger, Liam Clancy, James Taylor, and Tim O'Brien. The Boston Globe says, "Casey's voice is among the loveliest in folk music and she's a wonderful interpreter of both contemporary and traditional material." "Hieroglyphs That Tell the Tale" is the title of the new album from Karan Casey, which sees her return to a mix of traditional and folk song imbued with a modern twist, sitting alongside some new self-penned songs. Admission is $25 in advance, $28 on the day of the show. Casey will be joined by guitarist Matt Heaton and fiddler Sheila Falls Keohane. For reservations, call Blackstone River Theatre at 401-725-9272. CASEY Smith-Appleby to hold open house Sunday SMITHFIELD – Smith-Appleby House Museum, 220 Stillwater Road, will host an open house and exhibit of historic Smithfield memorabilia on Sunday, May 19, from 1 to 4 p.m. A guided tour of the Smith- Appleby homestead will be given by costumed docents. While visiting, view the extensive Smithfield memo- rabilia, historical document and photo collection privately owned and showcased by collector Dan Bethel of Lincoln. This is a free exhibit. Tours of the house are $5 per adult. Children are admitted free. For more information, visit www. smithapplebyhouse.org or call 401- 231-7363. See PARENTING, Page 7

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