Valley Breeze

The Valley Breeze Cumberland Lincoln 04-11-2019

The Valley Breeze Newspapers serving the Northern Rhode Island towns of Cumberland, Lincoln, Woonsocket, Smithfield, North Smithfield, Pawtucket, North Providence, Scituate, Foster, and Glocester

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Page 33 of 79

2 AT HOME / ENTERTAINMENT APRIL 11-17, 2019 | VALLEY BREEZE LIVING EDITION Right attitude is key to effective discipline "We've tried everything!" is one of the more common testimonials I hear from parents who've just described persistent and highly vexing discipline problems with a child or children. Setting aside that it's never the case that "everything" has been tried in conscientious fashion, the complaint reflects the wrong-headed notion – common to American parenting since the early 1970s – that proper/effec- tive discipline is a matter of correctly manipulating consequences vis-à-vis some method, technique, or strategy. I must confess to having contrib- uted, perhaps greatly, to this mistaken idea. Early on in my now 40-plus-year career as a syndicated columnist, my editors repeatedly emphasized the need for me to tell people what to do. So that's what I did. I was deft at coming up with creative approaches to behavior problems; furthermore, at that point in my ongoing development as a "parenting expert," I believed that for any given problem, there was a method that would solve it. I believed in behavior modifica- tion, in short. I believed that the proper use of positive consequences would strengthen right behavior and, likewise, the proper use of nega- tive consequences would shut down wrong behavior. It took me a while to discover what I was not told in gradu- ate school: no one has ever proven that behavior modification works on human beings. It works on dogs, rats, monkeys, even amoeba, but when you throw free will into the equation, behavior modification falls flat. In fact, children who are the targets of behav- ior modification are likely to learn to be manipulative. Having said that, it's important to note that consequences are neces- sary. Children need to learn that in the real world, right behavior is usu- ally rewarded in some way and bad behavior is usually punished – the operative word in both cases being "usually." But, whereas consequences work reliably and predictably with, say, dogs, they do not work reliably or predictably on humans. For example, a child who is punished for a certain misbehavior may become that much more determined to get away with it. And researchers have found that a child who is rewarded for a certain something may stop doing it. Humans are paradoxical. Dogs, not so much. The key to effective discipline is a right attitude. Without the right attitude in question, no consequence- based approach to discipline is going to work for long (any new approach, because of the novelty effect, may work for a few days or weeks). With the right attitude, just about any approach is going to work and keep on working. Furthermore, the right attitude will eventually render conse- quences all but unnecessary. The right attitude involves letting a child know that there is absolutely nothing he can do that is going to knock you, the parent, off balance; nothing he can do that will ruffle your feathers. He can disappoint you, but he cannot upset you. He has no power over your emotions. The right attitude involves project- ing complete confidence in the legiti- macy of your authority concerning the child in question. You are clear on the fact that as a general is superior to a lieutenant, you are your child's supe- rior. Children need superior beings in their lives. They need adults who act like they know what they're doing. That is essential to their sense of well- being. The right attitude "says" to the child, "I really don't care one whit whether you like me at any given moment in time. I know that I love you enough to give you my seat in the lifeboat, and that – which you can't fathom so I'm not going to try to get you to fathom it – is what really counts." The right attitude is very old fash- ioned. But where children are con- cerned, there is nothing new under the sun. Family psychologist John Rosemond:, Traditional Parenting JOHN ROSEMOND BRT offers Songs of the Carter Family with Elwood Donnelly CUMBERLAND – As part of their Heritage Arts Studio initiative, Blackstone River Theatre will offer a three-week session of classes concen- trating on learning the Songs of the Carter Family with instructor Elwood Donnelly. Classes are Mondays, April 15, 22, and 29, from 6:30 to 7:45 p.m. The fee is $54 per student per session. This group class needs a minimum of five students, with a maximum of 13. Participants will discover the wonders of this early pioneering American country music family and learn to play songs from this influential group who were in full swing between 1927 and 1943. A.P. Carter, his wife Sara, and Sara's cousin Maybelle sang a pure, simple harmony that has gone on to impact music among most genres. Donnelly will provide song lyrics and simple chord progressions that can be adapted for many different instru- ments while also exploring their history. Bring your voice and the instrument of your choice; it is help- ful to know basic chords. For class registration, email rus- or call 401-725- 9272. DONNELLY Dining Guide 1 Morgan Avenue, North Providence, RI 401-349-0557 RESTAURANT HOURS: Mon.-Fri. 4-9 p.m.; Sat. Noon-10 p.m.; Sun. Noon-9 p.m. PIZZA HOURS: Tues.-Thurs. 4-10 p.m.; Fri. & Sat. 11:30 a.m.-11 p.m.; Sun. 11:30 a.m.-10 p.m. Join Us For Easter Buffet $ 31.95 Adults $ 12.95 Kids (12 & Under) (Plus 18% Gratuity And Tax) Bottomless Mimosa's & Bloody Mary's $ 15.00 Fresh Fruit • Yogurt Assorted Cheeses Assorted Danish, Croissants and Muffins Bacon • Sausage • Home Fries Scrambled Eggs • French Toast Caesar & Garden Salads Penne with Pink Vodka Sauce Chicken Marsala • Baked Haddock Roast Beef Au Jus Ham With Pineapple String Beans • Carrots • Mashed Potato Assorted Desserts and Parfaits Coffee, Tea & Juice Seatings: THE TAVERN & CAFE ROOM 9-11 a.m. 11 a.m.-1 p.m. 1-3 p.m. 3-5 p.m. 5-8 p.m. Dinner Menu CAROUSEL ROOM 10 a.m.-12 Noon Noon-2 p.m. 2 p.m.-4 p.m. (Accommodating Parties of 6, 8, or 10) Join Us For Easter Buffet Join Us For Easter Buffet Join Us For Easter Buffet Join Us For Easter Buffet Join Us For Easter Buffet Join Us For Easter Buffet Join Us For Easter Buffet Join Us For Easter Buffet 46 Putnam Pike, Johnston, RI 401-231-8111 web: email: © Baked Stuffed Scrod • $ 14.95 Fresh scrod with seafood stuffing covered with butter and a ritz cracker crumb topping then baked to perfection. Served with a choice of pasta, spinach, mixed veggies or fries and a cup of soup OR small salad. Shrimp Di Napoli • $ 14.95 Fettucine noodles sautéed in a basil garlic cream sauce with shrimp and tomato. Served with a cup of soup OR small salad. Grilled Herb Chicken with Bow Ties • $ 14.95 Fresh chicken, marinated in Italian herb vinaigrette dressing, cooked on the grill. Served on a plate of fresh bow tie noodles in a tomato & basil pink sauce. Served with cup of soup OR small salad. Prosciutto and Sharp Provolone Sandwich • $ 10.95 Prosciutto di parma and sharp provolone with sliced tomatoes and oil and vinegar served on a ciabatta roll with your choice of soup or fries. Steak Sandwich • $ 11.00 Extra lean shaved steak grilled with onions mushrooms and cheese. Stuffed Quahogs • $ 5.95 Two gourmet stuffed clams served with lemon and Tabasco. Snail Salad • $ 14.95 Fresh cooked snails sliced thin, marinated in olive oil, minced garlic, fresh lemon juice and Italian parsley. SPECIALS OF THE WEEK DRINK SPECIALS $ 3 Bud Bottle $ 4 16 oz. Stella Artois $ 14 Bottle of Kenwood Chardonnay $ 8 Pink Starburstini

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