Valley Breeze

The Valley Breeze & Observer 03-28-2019

The Valley Breeze Newspapers serving the Northern Rhode Island towns of Cumberland, Lincoln, Woonsocket, Smithfield, North Smithfield, Pawtucket, North Providence, Scituate, Foster, and Glocester

Issue link: http://valleybreeze.uberflip.com/i/1097407

Contents of this Issue

Navigation

Page 25 of 87

6 REAL ESTATE / AT HOME MARCH 27-APRIL 2, 2019 | VALLEY BREEZE & OBSERVER LIVING EDITION results to guarantee their admission to said schools? And let's face it, if more people made mega-bucks, this scandal would not be limited to people stalked by paparazzi. There are three factors at work here (and I've already identified one of them): entitlement, self-esteem, and co-dependency. In order … First, the parents and children in question come from two generations disproportionately populated by peo- ple who believe they are entitled … entitled to be entitled, even. The indi- viduals in question believe three things that until recently were reserved to European royalty, toddlers, criminals, and career politicians: 1. What I want I deserve to have. 2. Because I deserve it, the ends jus- tify the means. 3. The rules do not apply to me because I am special (semi-divine, if you must know). This mentality, which defines a sociopath, began to spread in the 1970s as America's collective parenting goal shifted from instilling self-respon- sibility and the work ethic – as in, pre- serving culture – to fostering success and happiness. That shift accounts for the dramatic increase over the same time period of children and teens in therapy and on psychiatric medica- tions. Second, the ongoing encroach of entitlement has been accompanied by the post-modern notion that high esteem for the self is a good thing and that parents should do whatever pos- sible to guarantee that this psychologi- cal virus finds permanent lodging in their kids. The mental health community tied self-esteem to achievement, so parents got busy helping their chil- dren achieve. When is the last time you heard someone brag about their child's manners? Or his character? His morals? You probably cannot remem- ber unless you are Amish. Come to think of it, Amish parents don't brag about their kids, period. That explains it! My parents were closet Amish! Which brings us to the third factor: Parent-child co-dependency has also become ubiquitous in recent years, a symptom of which is parents who, when their kids do bad things at school, deny they are culprits or could even be culprits and say really dumb things like "My child has never lied to me!" and "My child would never do such a thing!" Today's parents feel their children's pain (as opposed to understanding why their kids are in pain and after offering helpful suggestions, wish them well with it). That is the operational definition of co-dependency. When you feel someone else's "pain," you enter into their reality. At that point, you become their personal enabler and enabling is the primary feature of a co-dependent relationship. Parents who are in co-dependent relationships with their kids are beyond being helicopters; they are now called lawn-mower and snow- plow parents. I call them "Cuisinart Parents," because their lives and their children's lives are blended together – pureed, even. Their children's suc- cesses, failures, disappointments, frus- trations, rejections, upswings, down- swings – every swing in every way, in fact – are theirs as well. No wonder mothers take more anti-depressants than any other demographic. My final word on the subject: We ain't seen nothin' yet. How about pay- ing for your kid to get a prime job and then paying his or her salary? I'm not kidding. Family psychologist John Rosemond: johnrosemond.com, parentguru.com . Fairmont raised ranch includes special features WOONSOCKET – This raised ranch in the Fairmount district was built as a shell for the buyer in 2006, allowing the owner to customize the inside. Not only has the owner put his unique touch on the interior of the house, but also outside in the backyard with a raised deck, playhouse and a smoker that is built into the side of a ledge. Listing agent Bruce Burlingame of CrossRoads Real Estate Group said that you can smoke as much as 200 pounds of different meats at one time. The front of the house is nicely land- scaped with a wide driveway leading into a two-car garage and steps that lead to the main entrance. The garage is insulated and heated. The house is heated by gas. The inside of the house features an open-concept layout. There is the liv- ing room with cathedral ceilings that leads both into the eat-in kitchen and dining area. The house is nice and bright with unique wood floors and French doors leading to the back deck. Burlingame said that the cathedral ceilings make the space appear bigger. "There is a unique design to the floors," Burlingame said. "Like noth- ing I've ever seen. There is a lot of individual detail. The owner is a crafts- man." The kitchen has white ceramic tile, and the living room is hardwood. Each room has a different style, either hardwood or tile. The kitchen includes a double sink, a nice ledge for plants under the window by the sink, and a center island. In all, there are eight rooms with four beds and three full baths. Three of the bedrooms and two bathrooms are on the main level. The fully fin- ished lower level has the fourth bed and third bath. There is in-law poten- tial for the lower level that also has a kitchen and separate entrance. The master bedroom is on the main floor with its own master bath. The backyard has a lot of space that goes back to the woods and would be great for entertaining. Kids will enjoy the playhouse and running around the yard while adults can check out the smoker. "The thing that makes this house unique is the smoker," Burlingame said. "This property really is totally different from anything I've seen. And it's one of the nicest raised ranches I've seen." The house offers 1,976 square feet of living space and is listed at $329,900 by CrossRoads. There will be an open house on Sunday, March 31, from noon to 2 p.m. Contact Burlingame at 401-595-9633. HOME OF THE WEEK 284 8th Ave., Woonsocket OFFERED BY: CrossRoads Real Estate Group Bruce Burlingame, listing agent MLS Number 1217933 PARENTING From Page One NORTH PROVIDENCE – Cute 3 bedroom ranch located on a dead-end street. Beautiful fenced yard, new deck, newer windows, and central air. Heated lower level with separate egress. Nestled in a quiet neighborhood yet close to all conveniences and interstates. FOR SALE – $219,000 Call Lyn at 401-487-0011 for a private viewing (S27529) Millbrook Modular Homes "A Concept to Completion Builder" SPRING SPECIALS So Much For So Little $113,900 2 Bedroom Ranch 26.4 x 36 948 SF $125,900 2 Bedroom Ranch 26.4 x 40 1056 SF Fl-1 $137,900 3 Bedroom Ranch 26 x 52.7 1369 SF Delivered and Assembled on your Foundation (standard options) Some Finish Work Required Delivery 10 Weeks from Order Millbrook Modular Homes 2255 Providence Highway Walpole, MA 02081 Office: 508-734-5884 Fax: 508-734-5882 www.millbrookhomes.com "We make homeownership easy the best way possible so families can live rich and fulfilling lives." Two Time National Winner, Home of the Month!

Articles in this issue

Links on this page

Archives of this issue

view archives of Valley Breeze - The Valley Breeze & Observer 03-28-2019